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A beginning was made today on the path long lost and forgotten. My health. It seemed as if my little fitness fairy tale was to take shape under the tutelage of an able trainer. A hand was stretched out to reach the fitness goals, goals that have remained goals since long. I took the first step, a giant leap in my otherwise sedentary life, towards becoming healthier and thinner. I finally decided to join a fitness dance class, to make up for the lost time, elongated by my neglect to focus on my body. Today, was (to be) my first demo class.
I didn’t sleep well last night. I feared my ‘casual self’ will snooze my ‘determined self’ into slumber and my fairy tale will end even before it begins. I wanted to win over my mind. I was adamant on making it to the destination at 8 am, which is way too early for me to go anywhere, even a workout (You can frown at the word ‘early’).
It was 5 am when I first woke up, assuming its 7.30. Since then, have been waking up every then and now, until it was finally 7.30 am. I jumped out of the bed, winning the battles of the battles (before I win the ‘battle of the bulge’), as I had succeeded in leaving the bed right when the alarm went off. Soon, I was sitting in the car flying towards my class, dreaming of my leaner, agile & flexible self, of the possible applause I might hear in future for shedding the kilos, of being the next big thing in the fitness world and above all, giving myself the healthier ‘self’. I reached the venue five minutes early. The shutters were yet to be opened (the price to be paid for choosing a nearby class than a good one). My bloated enthusiasm died a little, though not an inch was lost from the bloated body, which was my aim by the way.
Anyways, soon the doors opened and I caught up on my enthusiasm again. The figure of my fitter body rolled in front of my eyes again, as I walked up the stairs towards the dance studio. I imagined the day when I will be fat-less, a day that has never seen the light of the day in my life. I saw myself flying weightless in the air like a feather. Light and lost. I could see myself bending 1000 times a day and doing “Surya Namaskar’ as easily as I sun-bathe in winters. I romanced more such lovely thoughts which I better keep to myself for the fear of facing ridicule.
My fitness fairy tale got a reality bite when I saw the dance studio empty and audio-less. I was jolted by the sudden awakening and realised my dreamy romance hardly matched the present. “Where was the class?” “Where was the instructor?” I found myself abandoned. “What happened?” I inquired. No one knew. Exasperated by the fear of my fairy tale reaching its tail-end, I piqued my determination to stay a little longer when I was told the trainer won’t be able to make it, as his bike has broken down. I felt let down. By whom, I don’t know. Where were other members of the class, I wondered when the reception boy said, “Strange, even other members have not come today.” I looked at the empty space. Isolated and deserted, like my dreams. Disheartened, I came back home, eyeing some high-calorie food across the streets to drown my sorrows, and take the revenge from the universe for conspiring against me.
What a coincidence it was to be just a coincidence. Why such coincidences choose such vulnerable situations to occur. Was it merely a coincidence? Or was there some hidden good in store for me? Or, was it just a way to test my will-power. I don’t know. I won’t know. All I know is I feel cheated by this coincidence. I, who battled months of laziness, emotional turmoil, and zillions other demons to make a beginning. A beginning that never began. Will or should I go to the class tomorrow? I leave that for you to guess, as I will be guessing it too until the clock strikes 8 am, again tomorrow.
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