Being absent from the blog for so long is totally my thing. That is if anyone cares or has been reading the blog for long to notice. If I remember correctly, I had mentioned in my opening blog post in 2011 or in one of the comments that consistency is my achilles heel. And I have not been proven wrong if blog posts are any indication.
When I have nothing to say, I don’t say. I can’t. Writing this blog is an organic process. No outcomes, no deviations. It comes from within as and when it desires. And funnily enough, I have been observing my patterns and have noted that I usually write during PMSing phase. When hormones make me all introspecting, silent, spiritual, sad, angry, and calm, all at same time. I bow to nature, existence, science whatever you may choose to call it.
So, here I am today writing nothing great but still important because this is how I feel today. Writing a random post.
Now that I am introspecting, life is seemingly good. Gratitude for everything. This is not to say there is no chasm. A lot has changed suddenly in life. A lot has happened. What a roller coaster journey it has been since 2018. One thing to another so much so that I couldn’t even document it here. At the moment, most of the aspects are balanced in life, and some are dwindling. I don’t expect a perfect life. What matters is it is a happy life, it is a contended life, it is a slow and simple life.
Sometimes, I feel like documenting my life here in this blog. What scares me is the judgements that will flow. As writing is less of a writer’s job and more of a readers’ mindset. Even typing one whatsapp message can create havoc. What I write is understood wrongly by the person reading it. No one can comprehend the feeling behind the words. Everyone squeezes the meaning from their perspective. And for a writer nothing is more painful than being misunderstood. My understanding is that I am a misunderstood person :-). What I say, what I feel, and what I come across as and what people think of me, all are unsynchronised (LOL).
But then, for whom it isn’t? This is what society is all about. And when have I thought about society. So the fears seem baseless. Then what is it that stops me from writing frequently? I simply don’t know nor do I want to analyse further. I just need to find my lost love. A love for writing that motivates me to move mountains. Will that day come? Let’s wait together.
Till next post, take care.