Shocked & shattered!

What happens when someone breaches your trust? What happens when someone steps into the forbidden territory, a space too close to be eyed upon, leaving you dissected and ripped apart?

For instance, you maintain a personal diary, keep it safe in your almirah and believe the world is fair enough to not read it even if someone finds it (this ultra trustworthy nature has betrayed me quite often). Years later, you get to know that your diary was read by someone, that too many many years ago. What? The shock, the disbelief! I mean more shocking than someone reading your diary is the shock that someone read it years before and you didn’t even get to know of it. How stupid that can be. Yes, blind honesty and blind trust is sheer stupidity, I learnt it the hard way.

Or, you genuinely trust someone that you share your e-mail password. And without an iota of doubt, believe that your mails will not be scrutinised. And you keep on believing it till you are proved wrong. How does it feel?

And worse, what is it like when you realise that someone has been spying on you for as long as only he or she can remember. Or what when based on that half information and knowledge, accusations flow. And finally, to break the straw, when to cross-check the information, third person is contacted without your knowledge.

It hurts, it hurts beyond words that someone took you so lightly that he or she thought there was nothing wrong in stepping into that little private space of yours that you share with yourself. We all may not have some earth-shattering secrets to keep but we all have some subtle emotions, feelings and other sundry things that we’ll like to keep to ourselves. Some things are not shared for the fear of causing pain to the loved ones. When someone enters that territory, you feel teared, pierced and ripped apart, too numb to say anything. How long does it take to build that trust again, to smile again and to make peace with the fact that someone robbed you of that thin veil that exists between you and your own self.

Do you have the right to feel cheated or is it so that the other person should be given the benefit of doubt and forgiven, thinking that he or she did it just to make sure that you don’t lose your vision and go astray? Should you be shattered that you were not trusted or talked to or should you forgive and forget, as the person is too dear to be ignored, too young to be mature (relatively) and too close to get even with?